i'm sick and tired of you now.

I try so hard to not lose it with you, to be cool, to fit in like I used to. But the truth is, I don't fit in anymore, do I? I try because I don't want to lose you, because I remember the good times. But I'm not involved in the good times anymore, am I? Because the good times are just you and your weed, and seeing as I don't follow your group motto of 'can't be bothered' I'm not like you. You think that making me feel like an outsider is okay? You think that taking my lunch from me and playing with it, handing it back to me, squashed, is a funny joke? You think that not inviting me places because you 'assume I'm busy' makes me feel good? No. It makes me feel like shit. Worthless. But does that matter to you? Probably not because you've got everything you want. I can't tell any of you that I feel this way because you'll tell me I'm stupid or you'll bitch about me. I know you will. Do you know what it's like to feel alone? I never thought I'd feel like this again, not since last time, when I lost everyone. That happened because I tried to confide in a friend and they betrayed me. It's not like any of you care, you're selfish. I'm sick and tired of always being the one with 'mug' written across my forhead, whilst I give you everything, help you when you need someone, let you off for not bothering with me, and being your last 'option' if there isn't someone better.